// creative //
Fall 2016
bible study
Charlotte Rauner
I ran into god in the park and he told me
he is giving up on us soon, I told him
I really don’t have time to find new friends
god is busy fucking my sister
I’m worried she will get attached
jump off a bridge, she has done so before
she is not very religious or religious enough
god used to get suspended from school
he refused to say the national anthem
or think sex would turn our insides stale
I know a girl courting god even
though he has the strangest toes
she is quite convinced they will make
out in the 84th street movie theatre
once I decided I was invincible
I did many drugs and never closed my eyes,
god and his clique wished for lockers so
there would be a more convenient place
to judge me and my costco list of sins
I saw god get head behind the bleachers
he was too comfortable, the situation was weird
there was a man in the news who died
for eighteen minutes, but then came back
god was his doctor and now this man won’t
allow his grandchildren to get vaccinated
my cousin’s therapist told her
if you fall asleep while it’s raining or
cover your whole body in glue god will pretend
punk has not ruined us or anyone
I wanted god to love me so I kept pictures of him
under my pillow inside my dresser
I think my mom might have seen
god asked me out on a date and I said no
he texted me later that he cried on the way home
I am currently being murdered
by ten thousand god wannabes
the real god is watching from a roof
I am currently being born I do not know
and will never know who my mother is,
god keeps winking at me
there is a woman in my town god pays
after they sleep together, she is very rich
has had lots of plastic surgery
my first kiss was with god’s dad
god doesn’t know because though he was home
he had just gone to the bathroom
god has gotten naked before sprinting
into the ocean attempting to drown
himself just to get the thrill, just
to let us know his strength
sometimes I go dancing by myself
god always buys me a drink I always
say thank you, though, it just so happens
each time I am not looking for love
god is sleeping over next week
apparently our babies would be
just too fucking beautiful
god was married to the love of his life
he had an affair with his nanny
convinced her it was not illicit
I often dream that god is my pen pal
where his life in a country across the world
is more painful and bloody than mine,
whenever the letters come I am disappointed
my brother is business partners with god
they go on many meetings and
convince people of many things
my brother has since become an alcoholic
keeping whiskey neat in an office coffee mug
I used to doodle god-like images
on my notebooks car sometimes body
even apartment windows he was older
and his girlfriend slept around
god sketched me a sunset told me
beauty is relative I’m inspired by you
etcetera etcetera it was awful but I kissed
him before dinner time anyways
god wants to send me away
but I want to stay real close
I want to figure more things out
you have been warning me for years
he is giving up on us soon, I told him
I really don’t have time to find new friends
god is busy fucking my sister
I’m worried she will get attached
jump off a bridge, she has done so before
she is not very religious or religious enough
god used to get suspended from school
he refused to say the national anthem
or think sex would turn our insides stale
I know a girl courting god even
though he has the strangest toes
she is quite convinced they will make
out in the 84th street movie theatre
once I decided I was invincible
I did many drugs and never closed my eyes,
god and his clique wished for lockers so
there would be a more convenient place
to judge me and my costco list of sins
I saw god get head behind the bleachers
he was too comfortable, the situation was weird
there was a man in the news who died
for eighteen minutes, but then came back
god was his doctor and now this man won’t
allow his grandchildren to get vaccinated
my cousin’s therapist told her
if you fall asleep while it’s raining or
cover your whole body in glue god will pretend
punk has not ruined us or anyone
I wanted god to love me so I kept pictures of him
under my pillow inside my dresser
I think my mom might have seen
god asked me out on a date and I said no
he texted me later that he cried on the way home
I am currently being murdered
by ten thousand god wannabes
the real god is watching from a roof
I am currently being born I do not know
and will never know who my mother is,
god keeps winking at me
there is a woman in my town god pays
after they sleep together, she is very rich
has had lots of plastic surgery
my first kiss was with god’s dad
god doesn’t know because though he was home
he had just gone to the bathroom
god has gotten naked before sprinting
into the ocean attempting to drown
himself just to get the thrill, just
to let us know his strength
sometimes I go dancing by myself
god always buys me a drink I always
say thank you, though, it just so happens
each time I am not looking for love
god is sleeping over next week
apparently our babies would be
just too fucking beautiful
god was married to the love of his life
he had an affair with his nanny
convinced her it was not illicit
I often dream that god is my pen pal
where his life in a country across the world
is more painful and bloody than mine,
whenever the letters come I am disappointed
my brother is business partners with god
they go on many meetings and
convince people of many things
my brother has since become an alcoholic
keeping whiskey neat in an office coffee mug
I used to doodle god-like images
on my notebooks car sometimes body
even apartment windows he was older
and his girlfriend slept around
god sketched me a sunset told me
beauty is relative I’m inspired by you
etcetera etcetera it was awful but I kissed
him before dinner time anyways
god wants to send me away
but I want to stay real close
I want to figure more things out
you have been warning me for years
\\CHARLOTTE RAUNER is a sophomore in Barnard College and Creative Editor for The Current. She can be reached at [email protected].